Many times now I have sat at this computer, convincing myself that today will be the day.
“Today will be the day I finally write a new post on my blog!”
Primed and ready, I open my laptop, I start a new blank document, and I wait.
I wait for something to come to me, anything. After about 2 whole minutes, I open up my brainstorming document and look at all the possible topics I have written down. All the things I would like to write about eventually, but haven’t yet. After skimming through these I return to my blank page. Still nothing. Until eventually, I close my laptop, and I walk away.
All I have to do is start typing, but I don’t. I fear that what I write wont be perfect. How could I create something without doing everything I can to make it near perfect? I know perfection is impossible, but I could surly be close, right? The overwhelming thought of perfecting something soon creates anxiety, and anxiety no longer makes writing fun. So I walk away.
I’ve been working hard to come to terms with the fact that things don’t have to be perfect. I can put something out into the world and it can have flaws. Nothing will ever be perfect, and to create something of poor quality is far better then creating nothing at all.
How could we expect to improve if we never start?
This struggle shows in all aspects of my life; work projects taking too long because I’m afraid to send them to my boss for fear of imperfections, no piano playing because the songs I was once so good at are now a challenge, wanting to improve my dancing but my fear of messing up screams so loudly in my head that I forget to just enjoy the dance.
As for now, I have fortunately been able to recognize this issue with the help of my peers.
The fear of imperfection is certainly one of the major factors that holds me back in my personal growth.
So here I am, confronting it, recognizing it, and putting something into the world simply to create, knowing that I cannot, and will not, be perfect.
Besides, who ever remembers a story where everything went perfectly as planned?