Live a Life Full of Question Marks

I recently had the terrifying experience that I am getting older.

This is not to be confused with “I am old”. I know that I am young and have a lot of life left to live (I haven’t even hit the big 3-0 yet!). Neither I nor any of my 30+ year old friends are “old”. We all behave in such ways that I sometimes forget we’re older then 25. (Until I meet someone under 25, then I am quickly reminded that we ARE older…) So now that we have that cleared up….

I recently had the terrifying experience that I am getting older.

I was out to dinner with a group of people, (some were friends, some I had never met before,) when I noticed a weird shift happening at the table. I overheard conversation on the other half of the table about The Bachelor. This isn’t too unheard of, many people watch The Bachelor, I am just not one of them. The part where I started feeling weird was when the conversation shifted from The Bachelor wedding, to someone’s personal wedding. They had all helped plan a wedding before, and they were discussing things like the venue, the atmosphere, what they wanted people to do, etc. Meanwhile, on my end of the table, we were discussing our new church called “The House of Zza,” our pizza religion with all of the best sponsors. (Dominos, Pizza Hut, Papa Johns, you get the idea…) 

I have been in and attended weddings, but I have never helped plan one. And there were statements that just made me feel weird such as:

"It's a simple venue, yeah, but like, it's simple which is so YOU."

(Is this a compliment? And insult? I have no idea..)  And this statement caused a flashback to child me. The child version of me at some party where the kitchen was full of finger foods and mom’s talking about their lives. I no longer saw the table of my friends and peers, I was back there, in that generic kitchen, listening to suburban, stay at home mom’s, talking about their daily lives. And it made me feel gross.

Please note, I have wonderful childhood memories and greatly enjoyed attending these events. What made me feel gross was the realization that I am now one of these moms… kinda. Or am I? I don’t know! What am I supposed to feel? Where do I fall?! I quit my job to be a bum! Can I even be considered an “adult” after a stunt like that?!

So here we have reached my second (Or a very long lasting) “quarter life crisis”.

People do not have a schedule or timeline of how things are supposed to go. But sometimes society, social media, and the media in general, help us forget that. It seems that society leans towards the order of:

fall in love -> get married -> buy a house -> make babies -> die.

This is not the only timeline, and sometimes I forget that.

Right now my timeline is:

land a great job -> buy a house -> quit the great job -> ??? -> profit*

Those question marks are scary, but I find comfort knowing that there are others out there just like me. (For example, my fellow pizza church founders.) It’s just that sometimes I forget to look for them when surrounded by people talking about their weddings and future dream homes. I forget that no one has their shit together. I forget that no one knows exactly what’s happening next. I forget that no one has it as easy as social media makes it out to be. And sometimes, even Beyonce has a bad hair day. (Ok, maybe that one is a lie.) 

Regardless, I wanted my reminder to help remind others. Just because you’re not currently doing what the people around you are doing, this does NOT mean you are doing it “wrong”. You’re just doing it your own way. Your life has it’s own unique timeline, and it’s own set of endless question marks. And although it can be scary at times, just remember that it will always work out. (This may be my extreme optimism speaking, but still…)

Stay positive, keep learning, and follow your own damn timeline.

Besides, there is something exciting about a future full of question marks.

 

 

*(This is referencing an internet joke… just fyi)

 

 

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